You know how embarrassing it is to walk around in the city with a bag of toilet paper in your hand. It’s too big to fit into the shopping bag, so there you are, carrying it around, visible to everyone, and it’s ruining your looks because it shows you’re human after all. Today I met a man with a bag of toilet paper on the subway (I know: the subway! even more embarrassing than the street). But he was holding it in his arms for everybody to see and seemed quite comfortable with the situation. Why? Well his toilet paper was wrapped like a ghetto blaster! How cool is that! We started a conversation and the man told me it really feels different to carry it around. So there he was sitting with his ghetto blaster in front of me, and I had been shopping too, but unfortunately it was in LPG (a German organic store). I have friends who refuse to shop in LPG because it is too uncool and all the people shopping there are ugly, so they say (without ever having been there, totally prejudiced friends of mine). It’s true enough that LPG has no aesthetics, unless you count the goat wool socks as aesthetics. So the man with the ghetto blaster grinned at my paper LPG bag and said that LPG definitely lacked the irony. Luckily the scrunchies in my hair saved me, because, like the ghetto blaster, it's so 1990s to wear scrunchies, and so the man and I were still in sync. I ended up asking him where he bought this cool toiletpaper. DM, he told me. Ah, what a liar! Of course, first thing I did when exiting the U-Bahn was head over to DM but there was only toilet paper with flowers. Then I went to check out the second option, which is Rossmann (in Germany you have the choice between DM and Rossmann, Rossmann and DM). And there it was in all its glory - even before I entered the shop. The toilet paper was on sale: for only 2,75 Euros you can buy irony, aesthetics, the 1990s, and something practical to top it off.
